Back when we were a family of four, the adults used to basically do everything around the house. Very little was required of our children and we were for the most part all ok with that. For the kids, food just appeared on the table, the house magically was cleaned, laundry just did itself, the yard work just happened, and food and needed stuff just appeared from the store without any effort (on their part). With five children a life like this is no longer possible and that is a blessing. We didn't realize how little we were teaching our children. They had never experienced hard work or even the concept of working together to accomplish needed tasks around our home. We had failed as parents because it was easier to do what needed to be done than to teach them.
Once our family size increased it became impossible for us to do it all. We needed them and we were forced to teach them. Teach them the things we should have been teaching them anyway. I never would have guessed that I had such willing helpers right in front of me all along. I am proud to say that they have all stepped up and understand that they are all needed to make our large family work. There are even many days when a child asks me how they can help (which still catches me off guard). Now don't get me wrong there are days when they don't want to help but I have some of those days myself. For the most part everyone works together and gets the job done without complaint. More often than not, they enjoy our time working together. Sometimes we even try to make it fun with little games or races. In the past few years our children have learned to help care for the little people, fold laundry, help in the kitchen, help with dusting and vacuuming, help clean bathrooms, do yard work, and much more.
When we first started requiring our children to help their was a steep learning curve. I had to teach them everything and it was difficult. As they learned and perfected each task it became easier and easier. I am still learning who's skills and talents work best for each job. Also some tasks are more enjoyable for one child than another. Payton, our nine year old loves to vacuum and is very meticulous about matching up the lines side by side so that he covers every inch of carpet. Who knew? This is my kid who is definitely not detail oriented. Bentley, eleven, loves helping with the younger children, even if that means folding baby clothes and cleaning up their messes. She adores them and would do anything for them. Conner, six, loves dusting and wiping down walls and takes a lot of pride in wiping away little finger prints and other icky things that don't belong on walls.
There are times when I have to work hard to let go of my ideas of perfection. I can require their best work but no more. I have heard the phrase "mom I'm just a kid" more than once. I have to step back and decide if my expectations are realistic, often they are not. If a child is unable to do a task to an acceptable standard then I give them time to work on it and if it is still unacceptable we re-arrange responsibilities until we find the best kid for the job or we give that responsibility back to an adult and will try again later.
Some may feel sorry for our children or maybe even for us because large families are a lot of work. Please don't. The blessings of a large family far outweigh the few disadvantages. "A little hard work never hurt anyone" in fact it is making us all better people. We all feel needed and most of all loved. I really don't miss those days when I worked by myself. I still work hard, maybe even harder, but it doesn't feel like it because I am no longer doing it alone. We are working side by side making memories out of the mundane.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24
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