Monday, February 25, 2013

Learning From Those Who Have Gone Before Us

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."
Titus 2:3-5
 
As a mother, you expect love for your children and your family to come naturally and most days it does .  But there are those times when you have been stuck inside for days because of eleven inches of snow, everyone is bickering and just downright mean to each other, you are fresh out of creative ideas to keep five children occupied, you are pregnant, tired and weary, the kitchen is a mess, your baby boy has taken to climbing atop everything and trips to the E.R. flash through your mind, and their is yet another storm with more snow and possible power outages on the horizon.  It is hard to admit but those days the love doesn't come as naturally.  Titus 2 tells us that we need to learn to "love our husbands and children, to be self controlled and pure, busy at home, kind and subject to our husbands."  So it doesn't just come naturally and its not just me that has to work some days at loving my husband and children, controlling my temper and not yelling at my children (or my husband), not being lazy by sitting on the computer instead of cleaning my kitchen, and listening to my husband who only wants what is best for our family.  This passage talks about learning from the older women, who can teach us what is good.
 
My grandparents raised six children in the very home we live in and we are currently pregnant with our sixth.  When my grandmother was still living, we only had two children and no aspiring dreams to become a large family.  If I had only known...I have a million questions for her now.  How she did it, what she did right and what she wished she had done differently.  I feel like a kindred spirit.  If only I had another moment with her so that she could teach me all of her tricks.  Now, when it is too late, I am ready to listen.  There are many moments in this old house when I feel her very presence and encouragement and I know that she is looking down from heaven and is proud of me.
 
In church so many of the older ladies have been encouraging to us and our large family.  They often comment on how much they enjoy watching our parade.  They compliment when our children are well behaved and encourage when little ones squirm.  One special lady in particular has taken an interest in watching our family grow.  She raised six children of her own and I would expect that much of her advice would mirror that of my grandmothers.  Last week she shared some special words of wisdom as I and another mother stood and drank it all in.  She told me that these are the best days of my life and to cherish every moment with my children.  She told me that I would be very tired and that my husband should be tired too if he wasn't already.  She told me that my house would never be clean and that advice given to her was to buy dimmer light bulbs, which I think is an excellent idea.  In other words let it go.  Enjoy this time because it will be gone before we know it and we will be looking back at this time with fond memories.  So now I know...this is as good as it gets this side of Heaven.  I am going to work hard to learn to love my husband and children, to have self control and be pure, to work hard in my home, and to listen to my husband who works hard to raise this brood right alongside of me.  Even though it is hard to admit, I am becoming an older woman who also needs to encourage those younger mothers and teach them that love does not always come naturally and they are not alone in their struggles
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So today we tidy the house, put some more soup in the crock-pot, sip some more hot chocolate, play another board game, snuggle up to a good movie, and watch the snowfall again.  There will still be dirty diapers, arguing children, a dirty kitchen, and all of the chaos that large family life brings but this time, mommy will keep reminding herself  to cherish these moments with my babies because  a wise woman taught me that there is nothing better this side of heaven than our greatest blessings, our children.

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