Happy New Year

 

It is New Year's Eve.  Christmas is over.  The tree is down and the house is returning to a somewhat normal state (as normal as things get around here).  This New Year's Eve will be spent at home relaxing and watching the snow along with a movie or two with all of our little people. Another advantage of large family life is that we are our own party (never a dull moment).  Bentley got Princess Bride for Christmas and I have a feeling that everyone will love it.  We took a family trip to the store to buy all those fun snacks and appetizers that the rest of the year are off limits (even for mommy and daddy).    We pre-ordered wings online for daddy at Pizza Hut, a coveted treat.  Mommy was too lazy to make the mess of wings from scratch.  The babies tired bodies will fall asleep in the middle of our fun and being at home makes it easy for them to go to bed.  The older kids will pull out the sleeping bags and build forts in the basement with doors strategically placed so that they can watch t.v. until exhaustion overtakes them.  In reality no one will probably be awake long enough to ring in the New Year.  Monte and I are getting too old to care and the babies think sleeping in is overrated so they will be up early.  The New Year will still be here tomorrow and we can celebrate then with Yummy New Year's Cookies, and yes dad we will be over with some.  Hope you all have a wonderful evening and a Happy New Year!!

 

For Whom Do We Wait on Christmas?

As a child, we did not grow up with Santa Claus.  We knew that our parents purchased the gifts and that Jesus was the center of the celebration.  Before we were allowed to open the gifts we always read the Christmas Story and were reminded of God's love for us sending us his only Son that we may have eternal life.  My parents often made many of our gifts, spending many late nights hand crafting their creations.  We truly felt special and blessed.  They weren't the latest toys shown on the commercials or expensive Atari's and electronics, but they were one of a kind gifts that showed each of us that we were special.  Some of my favorites were almost life size Raggedy Ann and Andy Dolls, Shadow Boxes for our special trinkets, and a lamp with a beautiful doll on a stand.  I know that we got store bought gifts too but those are not the ones I remember.
Early on with our first child, we decided that Santa would not be a part of our Christmas.  My convictions were not super strong against Santa, in fact he is kind of intriguing, I just knew that I agreed with my parents that he could not become what Christmas was about.  Our children know of him.  We even enjoy movies and story books about him.  We talk about the Saint and the true story of the man behind the legend, a generous kind hearted man who helped the poor and sick and gave to children.  You might ask but what of the magic that Santa brings to Christmas?
In our home, honesty has always been important.  It became even more important at the adoption of our son who was 4 1/2 at the time.  You see he didn't trust adults because they were not truthful.  They made promises they could not keep and they told him things that were not true.  The truth is a story of a baby born in a lowly stable.  A story of the wealthy and noble wise men along with the lowly poor shepherds, often known as thieves, all receiving the one true gift of Jesus.  It didn't matter who was naughty or nice, Jesus came for everyone.
This year I have run across an interesting concept.  One that I had never before thought of.  What if when our children discover that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are indeed not real they also lose their faith in Jesus as well.  After all you can't see him and they have been tricked before.  Are we putting their faith at risk for the sake of magical fun?   We are asking them to sit on the lap of a stranger, a human being we don't know, instead of asking them to sit at the feet of Jesus.  As parents we need to be careful.   For whom do we wait on Christmas?

   "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:32

Are There More Children in Our Future?

The million dollar question that everyone wants to know is are we done adding children into our family.   For those who don't know our story, we currently have five children, two through adoption and three biological.  Much of our family journey has been a struggle about control.

When we first married, we decided to start a family right away.  Monte was in his early thirties and I in my mid twenties.  We struggled through some mild infertility issues and were blessed with our oldest child, a beautiful girl, now eleven.  Almost two years later we were blessed with a bright and happy baby boy, now nine.  Our family could have ended there but we are so glad it didn't.  Within a few years we struggled again with infertility to have a third child.  When our son was six, we decided to look into adoption through the foster care system.  We were looking at it more as a way to grow our own family than helping children.   During our foster care training there was a time when we decided that this was too hard and the children might be to "damaged" and we wouldn't be able to handle their needs.  Our worst fear was that we would have to send them back home and it would leave our hearts and family broken.  We wavered many times but finished the class and decided to take a placement of three beautiful babies all under two and a half years old.  We fell in love with them and eventually with their mom and it was bittersweet to send them home to her.  During that nine months with them God taught us to give up control to Him.  We could not control the foster care system or the choices of their family and we certainly could not control the outcome for our own family.
 
Our second placement was two siblings, a four year old boy and three month old baby girl.  This time we were more prepared to trust God to control their fate and that of our family.  Shortly after their placement, we learned that we were expecting a baby boy.  Many people asked if we were still planning to go through with their adoption but God was working in our hearts.  He was teaching us about His perfect timing and control.  We trusted that God would care for us no matter what.  Don't get me wrong we are human and definitely had our moments when doubt crept in and we wondered if God really knew what He was doing.  His overwhelming peace came time and time again.  Our commitment to them never wavered and we were up for whatever God had in store for us, although I was convinced that God was giving us a baby because He was going to take them from us but He did not.  God knew that if He gave us another biological child when we wanted him, we would never know the love of adoption and His plan was to bless us not once but three times over.

"Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
  Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court."

Psalm 127:3-5

After our youngest was born we were sure that we were done (I didn't say God, I said we).  Outside pressures told us that we had already surpassed the point of normal in the world's eyes because we have more than 2.3 children.  But God never called any of us to be "normal."  During the last eleven years, God has been slowly and quietly working on our hearts.  We were learning through His scriptures and hearing other large family's stories that children are a precious blessing and that God's timing and control is so much better than our own.  There came a point where God had blessed us with child after child and had provided for us time and time again and it seems crazy to tell Him to stop.  If we were offered an inheritance from someone on earth we would never turn it down.  If we were offered twenty inheritances we would never turn any of them down.  Then why would we turn down blessings from our Heavenly Father.  Is money more precious than our Children?  In His Word, God tells us that money is the root of evil and children are a blessing, a reward from him.   We prayed so many times for all of these blessings, I am not quite sure how the prayer goes that tells God to please stop blessing us.  It means that we take back control and tell Him how we got this now, thanks for your help, but we don't need it anymore.  We certainly don't want to have that conversation with God.  There is an overwhelming peace in the knowledge that God is in control and we like it that way.

So where does our family go from here?  Honestly we are leaving it in God's hands.  If you ever met our littlest surprise blessing you would know that God makes no mistakes.  We cannot imagine our lives without him or any of our children for that matter.  Adoption is also an experience that has changed us to our very core and through it God has challenged us to become better people.  More children is certainly not out of the question because we know that with God in control He will continue to bless and care for us.

*Family Size is a personal choice between husband, wife and God.   This is our personal journey.  I encourage you to look into God's word and listen to Him to see how He is leading your family.  We should not judge those families who have no children nor those who have ten, we do not know their story.  I believe God does not have the same plan for each family and we are certainly unique.